Sonic Evil
by Lady C Andrews
Summary: Well, the gang find themselves stranded in a city…Raccoon City to be exact…now they gotta find a way out while fighting off zombies! It’s a humor fic. [Completed!]
1. Day one in Evil town!

Declaimer: I do not own the Sonic gang or Resident Evil or Raccoon City or the zombies or—Well, you all get it. Don't own anything.  
  
Author note: This is Sapphire, and I'm back, I've been away for a while and I'm back again to kick some butt in Wild Canyon...Wait, uh, ignore that! Anyhow, I got the idea for this story after watching Resident Evil again. Now, I'll warn ya, this isn't horror. Nope, comedy (or lack thereof), aren't you all happy? Hey! Why are you running? Oh, fine...those of you who stayed, please, enjoy! ^_^  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
Sonic Evil  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
Day one in Evil town!  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
Our story starts with the Sonic gang on a road trip like every other Sonic road trip story. The gang was packed in Shadow's mini van once more heading to...somewhere. Where? I don't know yet, you know, got all these detours and stuff. Ah, everyone couldn't wait to get to wherever they were going...  
  
"We're lost, aren't we?" Tails said as he watch Sonic turn the map every which way.  
  
Sonic looked up from the map with a nervous grinned, "Lost? What gives you that idea?"  
  
Tails sighed, "We've been going in circles for the pass twenty minutes."  
  
Shadow growled, "Give me that map!" He took the map from Sonic while still steering the wheel of the van. The van swirled just a little as he snatched the map from Sonic.  
  
"Hey!" Sonic yelled in protest then slouched down in his seat, crossing his arms. "Fine, take it, get us more lost."  
  
"Be quiet, faker." Shadow said, looking at the map while still trying to keep an eye on the road.  
  
"Who're you calling a faker, faker?!" Sonic shouted and he would've jumped out of his seat if it wasn't for the seatbelt.  
  
Amy rolled her eyes, "Will you two stop? You are always fighting!"  
  
Sonic murmured as he got comfortable in his seat again. "Whatever..."  
  
Shadow glanced from the road to the map, "It says here..."  
  
Rouge glanced out the window, "Hey, there's a sign, 'Welcome to...'"  
  
"Raccoon City..." Knuckles finished for her. They exchanged a look.  
  
"Raccoon City?" They all echoed.  
  
Everyone was silent for a moment, until Tails exclaimed, "Cool! I heard of Raccoon City!"  
  
Sonic glanced back to Tails, who, might I add, was sitting beside Cream who has been quiet for this chapter so far, "You've heard of this weird city?" He asked as Shadow drove the van into the city.  
  
Tails nodded, "Yeah, have you ever played the game, Resident Evil?"  
  
Shadow laughed at that, "Aren't you a little young to be playing a gory game?"  
  
Tails pouted, "No! It's, um, entertaining. I don't sit around all day working on technology, you know!"  
  
Cream giggled, but didn't say anything. Amy looked at her, "Cream, you've been awfully quiet, what's wrong?"  
  
Cream shook her head, "Nothing, the author didn't have anything for me to say up until now."  
  
"Oh, that makes sense." Amy grinned, turning to look at Sonic. 'Sonic is so dreamy."  
  
Sonic nervously looked at Amy from the corner of his eyes, 'I hate when she stares at me dreamily and think 'Sonic is so dreamy'.'  
  
Cream looked out the window, "This is weird, where are all the people?" Everyone also looked out the windows to see a completely abandoned street. Not a soul was about. All the shops were empty and, uh, not a soul was about...  
  
Sonic sweat-dropped, "Um, maybe we should have a look around?"  
  
Tails shock his head, "Are you crazy, Sonic? That's suicide! I've played all the Resident Evil games and none of them have a happy ending!" Wow, he has played all when I haven't even played one... (Just Resident Evil Zero (I'm stuck! Help!) and Resident Evil Outbreak)...oh, wait...y'all didn't need to know all that...um, on with the story...  
  
Shadow rolled his eyes, "This author is Looney." Yeah, and that is coming from someone who claims themselves as the 'Ultimate Life Form'.  
  
Sonic laughed, "Can we get on with the story here?" Fine, fine, so the gang was driving around town. They still couldn't find a soul around. Sonic, being the adventuring hedgehog he is, decided to hop out of the van...while it was still moving.  
  
"Sonic!" Amy shouted as Sonic jumped from the van.  
  
Sonic landed perfectly, gaining an 'awesome!' he grinned, "Nothing to it!"  
  
Amy sighed, "Shadow, stop the van."  
  
The dark hedgehog sighed as well, "Fine." He pushed the breaks rather roughly, sanding the others back against their seats, hard.  
  
"Good thing I wear my seatbelt..." Rouge murmured as she undid her seatbelt, jumping from the van.  
  
Everyone else got out, all except Tails. Sonic looked at him, "Hey Tails, you coming?"  
  
Tails shook his head, "No way, what if there really are zombies out there?"  
  
Sonic laughed, "There's no zombies here!"  
  
Tails was about to say something until his eyes widen as he looked out the window and behind Sonic. "S-S—Sonic!" He pointed behind the blue hedgehog.  
  
Sonic raised an eyebrow and turned around, so did the others, to see...  
  
"Ah! Are...you a zombie?" He asked the horrible looking person...or thing, wait, I think it's a hedgehog.  
  
The zombie looked at them, "Duh! This is Raccoon City! Oh, I mean, ugh..." They just stared at him and the zombie sighed, "You all are supposed to scream and run now."  
  
Amy mouth made an 'o' shape, "Oh...we are?"  
  
"Yes, now...boo." They all scream and hopped in the van, driving away THROUGH the city, gosh, why do they always HEAD into trouble? Anyway...  
  
"I told you! I told you!" Tails shouted frantically. "There ARE zombies!"  
  
Knuckles growled, "Now what do we do?"  
  
Sonic turned to Rouge who was in the back seat, "Aren't zombies like a distant cousin to you, Rouge?"  
  
Rouge narrowed her eyes, "That is vampires, you idiot."  
  
Sonic grinned, "I knew that, I was only testing you." He turned around in his seat and his eyes widen, "Holy crappers! Watch out Shadow!!"  
  
Shadow, who was studying the road map, looked up at the road just in time to hit something. The van went bump in the night! Though it is midday...And everyone screamed. Shadow stopped the van, "What the heck was that?!"  
  
Sonic pretended to think, "Let me think, we are in a deserted city with ZOMBIES, what could it possibly be?"  
  
Amy giggled, "You're so silly Sonic!"  
  
Shadow, on the other hand, thought entirely differently, "Shut up, you faker!  
  
Before Sonic could reply back, Rouge stopped them, "You two are NOT going to start that again, you got me?"  
  
Sonic looked at her, "No, but if you don't mind, I would love to 'get' you..." He snickered and that earned a date with the Piko-Piko Hammer, a glared from Knuckles, and a shout from Rouge.  
  
Tails sighed as he looked at the window, "You hit one of those dogs!" Indeed, outside the van was one of those skinless dogs. The dog lied on the grown...whimpering?  
  
Cream also looked out the window, "Oh! Mr. Shadow! How could you hit a dog?" She jumped out of the car.  
  
"Cream!" Tails yelled, but it was too late. Cream was already kneeling beside the poor, hurt doggy-woggy.  
  
"Are you okay, Mr. Doggy?" She asked gently.  
  
The dog looked at her, "WHAT DO YOU THINK?! First, I was turned into a zombie, and then I got the crap beaten out of me by this crazy woman, NOW I got ran over by a car! This is just NOT my day!" The dog...ranted on...crying.  
  
Everyone in the van sweat-dropped. Cream gently smiles, "Don't worry puppy, we will find the antidote if it's the last ling we do!" As Cream said this, she stood up, placed a hand on her hip and pointed the other one skywards with her index finger pointed out as the Raccoon City Flag sway behind her. Mind you that the flag is a picture of an 'R' with a zombie on it doing the...moonwalk. Don't ask.  
  
The dog looked up at her, "Really? You do that for wittle ole' me?"  
  
Cream smiled, "Right, dawg! I mean, of course, Mr. Doggy."  
  
The dog stood up, "Thank you, you are too kind. But, I'm afraid I must eat you now."  
  
The rabbit continued on smiling, "That's okay, Mr. Doggy."  
  
"Please, just call me Doggy, being a Mister makes me feel old." Doggy said, "Now, I must fest."  
  
"Alright, Doggy. Have fun." Cream stood up.  
  
Doggy went into zombie mood and started to growl as drool and...other stuff...dripped from his mouth.  
  
"Cream! Get in here!" Sonic yelled, he ran out of the car in super speed and quickly grabbed Cream before the dog could take a bite out of her. Sonic hurriedly hopped into the van, closing the door. "Whew, that was close!"  
  
Cream smiled, "Thank you Mr. Sonic."  
  
The dog wasn't too happy as he jumped at the van, clawing the windows and barking. "GO SHADOW! GO!!" Amy screamed as the dog snapped at her window. Amy fell back and into Cream and Tails.  
  
Shadow gassed the van and it went zooming down the deserted streets. Tails sighed as his heart beat slowed down, "Whoa, that was close. Cream, promise me you wont do that again?" He looked at the rabbit.  
  
Cream smiled at him, she's been smiling a lot..."I promise Tailsie."  
  
"Tailsie?" Knuckles snickered at the little nickname. Tails blushed.  
  
Rouge smirked, "You shouldn't talk, 'Knuxie'." Tails and Cream giggled at that as Knuckles blushed.  
  
Sonic laughed, "Everyone's getting a pet-name?" He shouldn't have said that as Amy grinned at him.  
  
"Oh, you need one too, and I can't call you Sonikku because that's Sonic and Japanese...hmm...Sonny!" Amy grinned.  
  
The camera slowly zooms in inch by inch to Sonic's face as the weird horror music begins to play. "Sonny?!" His eyes widen at the though, "What am I? Your son?!"  
  
Everyone in the van laughed, Amy smiled, "Don't worry, Sonny, we'll have kiddies soon enough, no need to rush into anything!"  
  
Sonic wanted to die right then and there. Shadow stayed quiet because he didn't want any attention to be drawn on him, but I'm not that nice. ^_^ Amy turned to Shadow then, "Hmm...Shadow needs a nickname!"  
  
Shadow nearly went off the road, "WHAT?! I do not!"  
  
Amy ignored him, "Okay, Shadie!"  
  
And again, Shadow almost went off the road. "Don't you dare call me 'Shadie'! That's a dreadful name!"  
  
Amy once again ignored him, "Oh! We girls need nicknames too!"  
  
Rouge smile instantly fell from her face, "What? How about no?"  
  
"It's only a name, Rouge." Knuckles smirked, "What's in a name?"  
  
"Be quiet you." She narrowed her eyes at him in warning.  
  
Knuckles grinned as he put his hands up in defense, "Hey, don't bite my head off."  
  
Rouge sighed, "You're right. I need all my strength for these zombies."  
  
"Uuughhh...yesss...." Someone said from...behind them...in their...van....Everyone froze as they slowly turned their heads with wide eyes to see....none other then a zombie sitting with them, right next to Knuckles.  
  
Knuckles let out a yelped as he jumped on the other side of Rouge, "How...how did you get in here?!"  
  
"Door..." It said as it lunged at Knuckles, but since Rouge was in front of Knuckles, it went after her instead and well, somehow tripped in the car and his face landed...oooh...you know...'there'. Thou shalt not say....  
  
Rouge screamed, "Ah! Get away!" She pushed the zombie through the window and he went flying! "Men! Even in death, they are still perverts!"  
  
"Not all men are perverts..." Shadow murmured, "I hope you know that you are paying for that window."  
  
Rouge rolled her eyes, "That zombie touched me! Ew! Gross!" She quickly brushed her clothes then turned to Knuckles, "You! You wimp! Hiding behind a lady!"  
  
Knuckles nervously looked around, "I wasn't hiding..."  
  
Rouge sighed. Knuckles sighed. Tails sighed. Cream sighed. Amy sighed. Sonic sighed. Shadow sighed. The zombies sighed. The author sighed. Sonic raised an eyebrow, "Why are we all sighing?"  
  
"I don't know." Replied everyone. Knock on wood! Jinx! Ha!  
  
Everyone sweat-dropped, "Um, anyway..." Sonic started, "Now that we are here, what do we do?"  
  
Amy jumped up, surprisingly not hitting her head on the roof of the car, "Oh! I know! We must solve the mystery of Raccoon City!"  
  
Sonic nodded, "Right gang, let's split up." Everyone stayed in the van as silence soon took over them. Sonic sighed, "Fine, fine."  
  
Shadow growled as he continued to drive thought the city, "How big is this city anyway?"  
  
Tails grinned, "This is the City of the Doom! It has no end!"  
  
"WHAT?!?" All exclaimed and Shadow hit the breaks. Sonic, however, forgot to put his seatbelt on and went smacked into the front window.  
  
"Ow..." He said sorely as he fell back into his seat.  
  
Rouge laughed, "It's a good thing we are anime characters, or else, Sonic, you'd be a dead hedgehog. If not that, you'll have one heck of a 'splitting' headache."  
  
Sonic growled, "You be quiet bat-girl!"  
  
"Hey! Can't anybody call her bat-girl but me!" Knuckles shouted in her defense.  
  
Rouge narrowed her eyes, "Shut up, Knuckles. Just shut up."  
  
The red echidna raised an eyebrow, "What'd I do?"  
  
Before Rouge could reply, Amy pointed to something out the window again, "Hey! Look! There're peoples! Lotsa peoples!"  
  
All eyes turned in front of them to see a small group of people. "What are they doing here?" Rouge asked.  
  
"They aren't people!" Tails pointed out, "They are zombies! Shadow, get this car moving!"  
  
Shadow did and went straight through the crowd, hitting a zombie here, smashing a zombie there, and running over zombies everywhere! The zombies climbed on the van and started scratching at the windows. A zombie reached its hand in the window which Rouge had broken to knock the previous zombie out. He reached in and almost grabbed Knuckles.  
  
"Ah! Mommy!" Knuckles yelped, quickly moving away and into Rouge.  
  
"Hey! Watch it, red boy!" Rouge shouted, pushing him away.  
  
The zombie grabbed a hold of Knuckles dreadlock, "Ah! Get it off! GET IT OFF!!" He yelled as the zombie pulled. Once again Shadow stopped the van. Rouge grabbed a hold of Knuckles legs as another zombie grabbed a hold of the zombie that was grabbing a hold of Knuckles dreadlocks. Amy grabbed Rouge's legs as Rouge held onto Knuckles' legs. Another zombie grabbed onto zombie 2 legs as it held onto zombie 1 legs. Soon, everyone was playing tag- o-war with Knuckles.  
  
"Let...GO!!" Rouge shouted, pulling Knuckles with all her might with the help of the others.  
  
The zombie stuck his tongue out, "NEVER!!" He pulled harder.  
  
"AH!!! MY HAIR!!" Knuckles yelled in pain. "GET THEM OFF ME! FOR THE LOVE OF MY DREADLOCKS!! GET THEM OFF!!"  
  
Rouge then got an idea, "Amy! Quick! Give me something to throw at them!" She held her hand out to Amy and Amy placed something in it, before Rouge threw it; she looked at it, "Lipstick? Since when did you wear makeup, Amy?"  
  
Amy blushed, "I don't, but I always carry some around with me."  
  
Rouge rolled her eyes and hurled the lipstick at the zombie; it hit him in the eye. "AH! MY EYE!! MY EYE!" He immediately let go of Knuckles dreadlocks. Knuckles fell back in the van with swirls in his eyes.  
  
Rouge shook him, "Knuckles! Knuckles! Are you alright?! Speak to me!"  
  
Knuckles eyes cleared as he looked up at Rouge, "Is this heaven? I think I see an angel..."  
  
Rouge eyes widen as the others laughed. Shadow quickly begins driving again. "Knuckles? Are you okay?" She asked while hiding a blush.  
  
Knuckles quickly shook his head, "Yeah, ow...my head..." He sat up and looked at the others who looked at him. All was quiet for a good ten seconds.  
  
"Since when did you learn pickup lines, Knuckles?" Sonic asked with a raised eyebrow.  
  
Knuckles blushed, "What? Oh, uh...you know, every echidna must know at least one." He replied, "Did I actually say one...?"  
  
Amy laughed, "You bet you did! It was so sweet! Maybe you could teach Sonic some so he can pick me up!"  
  
Everyone stared at Amy, even Shadow who was supposed to be driving. Amy looked at them all, "What?"  
  
Everyone shrugged as they went on to do whatever they were doing before. Sonic was looking out the window with his elbow on his knee and his chin in the palm of his hand, thinking. Shadow continued on driving. Tails and Cream and Cheese (I, like, totally forgot about him!) chat about stuff. Amy went day dreaming about her and Sonic's...wedding? Gosh, Amy....anyway, Knuckles and Rouge was, well, doing much of nothing. Just avoiding each other eyes.  
  
Soon, night decided to quickly fall in Raccoon city and everyone was tired. Rouge looked at the broken window. "Um, shouldn't we fix that?" She asked, looking at Shadow.  
  
Shadow shrugged as he stopped the van and reached under his seat. He pulled out a trash bag and some tape and handed it to Amy who handed it to Rouge. "Tape that to the window." He commanded.  
  
Rouge nodded and handed the stuff to Knuckles who was closest to the window. Knuckles sighed as he placed the bag over the window and taped it. "There, done. Now where do we sleep?"  
  
Tails yawned, "It looks like we have no choice but to sleep in the van tonight." He got comfortable in his seat. Cream, too, yawned as she cuddled close to Tailsie. Aw. Soon, the two were fast asleep.  
  
Sonic grinned, "One of us has to stay on watch, and maybe we could take turns? Who'll go first?" Sonic asked Shadow and Knuckles.  
  
Knuckles shrugged, "I could take first watch."  
  
Shadow nodded, "I'll take second watch."  
  
Sonic grinned, "That leaves me with third watch. Alright, night Shadow, night Knuckles, night Amy, night Rouge." And a second later, he was fast asleep.  
  
Amy frowned, "I really wanted to sleep with Sonic...oh well...Night everyone." She got herself comfortable before falling asleep.  
  
Shadow glanced out the window and into the darkness of the land. "I hope we can get out of here soon." And soon, he too fell asleep. This only left Rouge and Knuckles awake.  
  
They were silent for a while before Knuckles turned to Rouge, "Aren't you going to sleep?"  
  
Rouge glanced at him with a smile, "I'm not very tired." After she said that she yawned (and so did I! lol). "Well, maybe I could get some sleep in..." She lean her head back and fell asleep. Wow, these characters fall asleep awfully fast. Knuckles sighed as he looked at her. He turned to looked out the window and then remembered that a trash bag covered it. He lean his head backed and looked up at the roof. He soon felt something on his shoulder and glanced to it to see Rouge head had somehow fallen on his shoulder. He gulped, as he looked at her. She looked so...peaceful and beautiful. Knuckles sighed as he whispered, "Why must this author torture me so?"  
  
^_^  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
Ha! That's it, yippee. Not so funny, but I tried! :-P Please, review. No flames, I'll cry. ;_; ^_^  
  
I told you it wasn't going to be horror, but humor! ^_^ 


	2. Day two…The Need for Gas!

Declaimer: I don't own anything! Not even the clothes on my back! Okay, maybe those...but nothing else! I don't even own a piggy bank!  
  
Author Note: Well, since I haven't really played the Resident Evil video games much, I'd say it based more off the movie, ^_^ and what possessed me? The boogie-man! Ew, uh, naw...  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
Sonic Evil  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
Day two...The Need for Gas!  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
"We've been stranded here for 28 hours. We are running out of food. We have very little water. The zombies are moving in...I can feel them...I can smell them. They are close...so close...we may not make it...we have little chance of survival, we—"  
  
"Will you knock it off, Sonic?" Shadow growled at his companion who was narrating everything.  
  
Sonic crossed his arms, "Aw, c'mon, it's fun!"  
  
Knuckles sighed, "How long do you suppose we'll be here?"  
  
Tails shrugged, "Maybe 28 days?" He giggled, "Or maybe we have 7 days to live!" He then said in an eerie voice, "Seven days...." He laughed.  
  
Rouge raised an eyebrow, "Boy, you need to lay off on those movies."  
  
Tails turned serious, as he stood up, head barely touching the roof of the van, "Horror movies are my life! I will never, ever, ever stop watching them. I live for them; I breathe for them, I KILL FOR THEM!!" He shouted, pointing a finger at Rouge.  
  
Shadow turned around in his seat, "Boy! You better sit down in my car!"  
  
Tails quickly sat down, "Sorry Shadow."  
  
Amy begins to whine, "Could we get out of this van? My legs are getting cramped!"  
  
Shadow sighed, "Fine, I don't see any zombies around." They all got out of the van to stretch.  
  
Tails stopped as he looked around. "They are here...I can sense them...they are waiting. They want to feed. They have the need to feed. They want us. They're searching...they're coming for us!! AH!!" He quickly runs in the van, leaving the others out there, and locked the door.  
  
"Tails! What's your problem?!" Amy shouted, banging on the door. The small fox looked around paranoid.  
  
"They're coming! Run!" He shouted as he hid under some blankets that were in the van.  
  
Rouge stared at him, "Looks like someone's been watching one too many horror movies."  
  
Knuckles nodded in agreement. "I'd say. Tails open the door."  
  
Tails, still under the blankets, looked up at them, "How do I know that you aren't one of them?"  
  
Shadow growled, "For crying out loud!" He dug into his...pockets...and pulled out his keys. He unlocked the door and the others got in the van.  
  
Sonic put his seatbelt on, "No more science-fiction crap for you."  
  
Tails pouted, "Science-fiction is not crap!"  
  
"We need to find a way out of here." Amy said.  
  
Shadow nodded, "We do, and this stupid car won't start! Sonic, did you put two gallons of gas in the tank like I asked?" He asked, turning to the blue hedgehog.  
  
Sonic grinned sheepishly, "Oh, you said TWO gallons...I thought you told me to fill it up with a quarter of a gallon..."  
  
Shadow glared at Sonic, "You only put A QUARTER OF A GALLON of gas in here?! Great! Now we're out of gas!"  
  
"I'm sure that they have a gas station here, Shadow." Knuckles said trying to calm Shadow down.  
  
Shadow turned to Knuckles, "Then why don't YOU go out and get some?"  
  
Knuckles gulped, "Uh, out there?"  
  
Shadow nodded.  
  
"In that city?"  
  
Shadow nodded again.  
  
"WITH ZOMBIES?!"  
  
Shadow nodded with a growl, "Yes, and if you're scared, take this faker with you."  
  
Sonic crossed his arms, "I am not a faker."  
  
"Whatever, now get out of the van!" With that, he quickly undid Sonic's seatbelt before Sonic even knew it and shoved him out the door.  
  
Knuckles jumped out, "Well, okay...but we don't have any weapons! What if they try to kill us?!"  
  
Shadow sighed and threw Knuckles a wrench, "Take this."  
  
Knuckles sweat-dropped, "A wrench? What am I going to do with a wrench?!"  
  
The dark hedgehog shrugged, "Take it or leave it."  
  
Sonic sighed, "Fine, let's go. Shadow, keep a good eye on the women and children."  
  
"Whatever..." Shadow replied before closing the door.  
  
Sonic went to the trunk to get the gas container and soon the two left in search of gas.  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
Sonic heaved, tiredly, "We've been...searching for...HOURS..." He sighed, exhausted.  
  
Knuckles, who was as good as ever, not even sweating, looked at Sonic, "Sonic, we've only been searching for five minutes. I mean, we can still see the van!" He turned to the van as everyone, sans Shadow, waved at him. He returned the wave.  
  
Sonic sweat-dropped, "I knew that." He quickly brushed the sweat off. They soon were gone from the van's view.  
  
"You sure this city has a gas station?" Sonic asked Knuckles.  
  
Knuckles rolled his eyes, "Duh, doesn't every city?"  
  
"Well, yeah, I guess...but we've been traveling for a long time and I still don't see one!" Sonic whined.  
  
"Stop whining, you sound like Amy." Knuckles said, getting annoyed with our blue hedgehog friend. "And anyways, there's our gas station." He pointed to a gas station that wasn't too far from where they were.  
  
Sonic grinned, "Yes! Now we can get some gas and get outta here!" He handed the container to Knuckles, "Fill 'er up, Scotty!"  
  
Knuckles grumbled as he walked over to one of the pumps and pour gas into the container, "My name is not Scotty."  
  
Sonic then started to do the Jason theme, which sounded oddly like it's supposed to, which was creeping Knuckles out.  
  
Knuckles growled, "Do you mind Sonic?"  
  
Sonic looked at him, "Mind what?"  
  
"Stop with the freaky Jason theme." He demanded as he continued to pump some gas in the container.  
  
"Okay." Sonic said as he sighed.  
  
Ki, ki, ki, ha, ha, ha. Ki, ki, ki, ha, ha, ha.  
  
Knuckles growled, "I told you Sonic, stop that already!"  
  
"Uh, Knuckles, that wasn't me." Sonic nervously said.  
  
Knuckles finished pumping the gas and stood up to turn to Sonic, "What do you mean it wasn't you?!"  
  
Sonic shrugged, "I mean it wasn't me."  
  
Knuckles raised an eyebrow, "But this is Raccoon City! Not Camp Crystal Lake!"  
  
Sonic shrugged again, "Well, tell that to him." He said pointing behind Knuckles.  
  
Knuckles quickly turned around to see..."JASON!?" He screamed, nearly dropping the gas container. "WHAT IS HE DOING HERE?!"  
  
Jason was indeed there, in his Jason X form. He glared at them, his breathing hollow, his eyes deadly, his nose running...Jason looked down at his nose, "AH! Tissue!" He quickly took a tissue from his pocket and blew his nose.  
  
Knuckles and Sonic stared wide eyed at him. "Maybe we should run?" Knuckles whispered to Sonic.  
  
Sonic nodded, "Maybe we should..." He whispered back.  
  
As Jason was blowing his nose, the two quickly ran off, leaving Jason in the dust. Jason sighed, "I was only going to ask for directions! Why is everyone always running from me?!" And, well, Jason ran off...crying...  
  
After running for about two minutes, they were once again in sight of the van. "There are the others!" Sonic shouted as he rushed over to them. Amy, who was now sitting in the passenger seat next to Shadow, opened the door for Sonic.  
  
"Sonic!" She exclaimed happily as Sonic climbed in next to her.  
  
Knuckles decided to put the gas in the tank. After that he hopped in the car next to Rouge, "You guys won't believe who we saw!"  
  
"Who did you see, Mr. Knuckles?" Cream finally spoke.  
  
Before Knuckles could tell them, Sonic jumped in, "We saw JASON!"  
  
"Jason?" Rouge asked, "Jason who?"  
  
"Jason Voorhees!" Sonic and Knuckles both said at the same time. Knock on wood! Jinx again! ^_^  
  
Everyone ignored the author. Sighs. They always do that...anyway...Tails shuddered, "Did you really saw Jason Voorhees? Wow, that's awesome! But why would he be in Raccoon City?"  
  
Shadow shrugged as he started the van again, "Who knows? This story is weird and it's only been two chapters." Shuddup. Shadow rolled his eyes.  
  
Tails glanced out his window, "Don't you think it's weird?"  
  
"What's weird, Tails?" Amy asked, still sitting beside Sonic in the chair. Sonic was slowly pushing her away, but she stayed seated next to him.  
  
"Don't you think it's weird that we haven't run into a zombie all day?" He finished looking around.  
  
Rouge agreed, "Yeah, it is kind of weird. Shouldn't zombies be roaming around this city? They should be everywhere!" You asked for it.  
  
Just as she said that, about a hundred zombies jumped from buildings, windows, sewers, doors, drawers, everywhere. Some even parachuted from the sky...weird... Everyone glared at Rouge; she nervously laughs and shrugs her shoulder.  
  
The zombies started to attack the vehicle they were in, pushing it, climbing, kicking it, etc.  
  
"Ew!" Amy exclaimed as a zombie licked the window. "Shadow, get us out of here!"  
  
"Roger that!" Shadow said, quickly driving through the zombies, again hitting them here, and rolling over them there. OH MY GOSH! IS THAT A HEAD?!  
  
"AH!" Amy and Cream screamed as a zombie head bounced on the windshield.  
  
The head looked at them, "Eh, what's up doc?" It said. Shadow pressed a button and the windshield wipers turned on, brushing the head off. The head went flying through a window, "I only wanted to be friends!"  
  
"This is by far the weirdest day of my life." Rouge said as she watched the zombies run after the car from the back window.  
  
Tails sighed, "I'm hungry Sonic."  
  
Cream nodded, "Me too."  
  
Amy also agreed, "I'm hungry too, Sonic."  
  
Sonic looked at them, "What am I supposed to do?"  
  
The three smiled, "Feed us!"  
  
Sonic nervously looked at them, "Feed y'all...what?"  
  
"We want...you..." They said eerily.  
  
Sonic sweat-dropped, "Wha-wha-what?!"  
  
Amy smiled as she cuddled up to Sonic, "I'm joking! But I do want you!" She tried to kiss him, but Sonic pushed her away, "Aw...just a little kiss?"  
  
Sonic shook his head, "No way, Ames!"  
  
Amy pouted, "You're so mean."  
  
Sonic nodded, "I know."  
  
The pink hedgehog smirked as she quickly did a sneak attack, trying to kiss Sonic again. Sonic eyes widen and faster then he ever run, he was in the back seat between Rouge and Knuckles. Amy pouted again, "Darn, I almost had him there!"  
  
Sonic sighed in relief as he placed his hands behind his head, "Hey guys." He said to Rouge and Knuckles.  
  
"What are you doing back here, Sonic?" Knuckles asked with a raised eyebrow.  
  
Sonic sat up straight, "To get away from Amy, why? Am I invading your privacy? Oh, you two wanted to be alone in the back seat!" He laughed.  
  
Knuckles and Rouge blushed, Knuckles growled, "No! It's just that, uh..."  
  
Sonic raised his hands up, "No need to explain, Knux, I'll leave you two alone. You may want some 'fun' before we all get turned into zombies."  
  
Tails grinned as music started to play and he begins to sing, "F is for friends who do stuff together! U is for you and me! N is for anywhere and anytime at all!"  
  
"Down here in Raccoon City!" Everyone sung.  
  
Knuckles growled, "F is for fire that burns down the whole town. U is for URANIUM BOMBS! N is for no survivors when you—"  
  
Tails laughed, "F is for friends who do stuff together! U is for you and me!"  
  
Knuckles sighed, "You all are gay." The music abruptly stops. Everyone stayed in silence for a while as Shadow drove the van down another deserted street. They glanced at each other.  
  
"Well, that was...interesting..." Rouge said and everyone agreed.  
  
Suddenly, the van halts to a stop, knocking everyone all over the place. "Hey! What's the big idea, Shadow?!" Sonic shouted as he rubbed his head which he hit on the back of the seat.  
  
Shadow only stared out his window, "I believe we have a slight problem." He said pointing in front of them.  
  
Everyone looked at what he was pointing at and gasped.  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
HA! I'm evil, I mean, well, writers block is evil too. What got them scared? Only one way to find out! Stay tune for the next exciting episode of DRAGON BALL Z!!! Wait, I mean, SONIC EVIL!! 


	3. Still in Day Two, WTH!

Declaimer: *in a sophisticated manner* As the last two chapters declared, I do not own anything. Not even my clothes. *push up glasses* Interesting...  
  
Author Note: Ah, hello everyone. Nice of you all to of join me. You must like this story for some odd reason if you are on chapter three with me. Please, carry on and enjoy your stay.  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
Sonic Evil  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
Still in Day Two...WTH?!  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
Standing, or should I say marching, in front of the van was a parade of zombies. Thousands and thousands of zombies were marching. They even had a resident evil balloon! You know, the DNA strips look alike, the blue and green one. Everyone stared wide eyed at the parade.  
  
"You call this a slight problem?" Sonic asked staring at the approaching parade.  
  
Suddenly the "Twilight Zone" theme song started to play, Tails raised an eyebrow, "We have entered the twilight zone." Everyone nodded, too shock to say anything.  
  
Shadow quickly shifted the van into reverse mode and started driving backwards from the zombies. They started running after the van and Shadow, with great skills, spun the van around and zoomed away from the zombies.  
  
"Whoa, Shadow!" Sonic exclaimed as he returned to the front seat, "Where'd you learn how to drive like that?"  
  
Shadow smirked as he shifted gears, "The Fast and the Furious."  
  
Sonic raised an eyebrow, "Really?"  
  
"Yeah, I even have a custom made car which I use to race and win money."  
  
"Wow, really?" Sonic asked again.  
  
Shadow sighed, "No, that was only a dream."  
  
Sonic crossed his arms as he leaned back in his seat, "Oh."  
  
"Uh, Shadow..." Rouge said, looking out the back window.  
  
"What?" Shadow asked, not taking his eyes from the road.  
  
Rouge nervously glanced behind them, "Maybe you should speed this thing up a bit...they're gaining, fast."  
  
Shadow glanced at the rearview mirror, "What?" Some of the zombies were gaining quickly riding...jeeps?  
  
Soon a zombie was right next to the van on each side. The one on the right side slammed his jeep into the van, knocking it slightly off course. Shadow growled, "Hey! This van cost me a lot!" The zombie ignored him and continued to ram his jeep into Shadow's nice family size mini van. Why does he have a family car anyways? Um, anyhow, Shadow was growing angrier by the second.  
  
Rouge quickly made sure her seatbelt was on and tight, and then she checked to make sure the same with Knuckles, Amy, Tails, and Cream. "All of you got your seatbelt on and secure?" She asked them. They all nodded, "Good. This may get bumpy."  
  
Sonic pouted, "Aren't you going to check mine?" He asked her.  
  
Rouge looked at him, "Am I suppose to?"  
  
Sonic sighed, "Fine, be that way."  
  
Rouge smiled.  
  
Shadow was getting frustrated as two more zombies in jeeps rammed behind his lovely van. Oh, by the way, it's black and red in color. ^_^ Shadow's doing. Yeah, black with a red strip down the middle. He slightly glanced at the others, "Hold on tight." He commanded; they were way ahead of him.  
  
Shadow quickly shifted the gears of the van and the speed instantly increased, hey, being a fast hedgehog doesn't mean you can't have a fast car too! He glanced at his meter as it read 70 mph, he frowned, he needed more speed. He pressed his foot harder on the accelerator. His speed steadily grew as he once again shifted the gears to the next level. Now he was at 100 mph. He glanced out his window to see if the zombies were following, and sure enough, they were hot on his tail. Since when did they learned to drive, anyway? No matter, he was going to lose them. He quickly swirled the van around and was know facing the approaching jeeps. He growled as he pressed his foot harder on the accelerator and sped towards the four jeeps.  
  
Everyone widen their eyes, "Shadow! What are you doing?!" Rouge yelled as Shadow continued to speed towards the jeeps.  
  
Shadow remained quiet as they got closer and closer. He narrowed his eyes; they were now only a few yards away and were quickly closing the gap. He instantly locked eyes with the other zombie in the lead. As they got closer, right before impact, the zombies quickly swivel their vehicles out the way, scratching Shadow's left headlight. Shadow let out a cursed.  
  
Amy opened her eyes and glared at the back of Shadow's head, "Shadow! Are you crazy?! You could've gotten us killed!"  
  
Shadow growled in irritation, "But I didn't, okay?! Now be quiet!"  
  
Amy huffed, "Oooh, why you! Fine!" She crossed her arms and leaned back in her seat.  
  
Rouge rubbed her forehead, "All this is giving me a headache."  
  
Suddenly a rumble was heard in the middle section of the car and all eyes turned to Tails. The fox blushed as he rubbed his stomach, "Sorry, but I'm really hungry."  
  
Cream nodded, "Me too, and so is Cheese." She held up the chao and he rubbed his small tummy.  
  
Sonic too agreed, "Me too." He sighed, "How are we going to find something to eat here?"  
  
Shadow shrugged, "Maybe we could stop at a store or something. I'm sure everything's free here." He said as he pulled into a parking lot of a small grocery store.  
  
Tails frowned, "Yeah, but zombies are out there."  
  
"Okay, three of us will go and get something from the store; the rest of you will just have to sit tight." Sonic said as he was about to open the car door.  
  
"Well, who's going?" Asked Rouge.  
  
Sonic thought, "How about me, Shadow, and Knuckles?"  
  
Knuckles quickly shook his head, "No way, remember what happened last time we left this van? Which was actually a few hours ago."  
  
Sonic sighed, "Fine, somebody needs to stay and watch everyone else, so...um, how about you, little buddy?"  
  
Tails looked from Sonic to the store, "Um, maybe I shouldn't Sonic." He said nervously.  
  
The blue hedgehog sighed, he looked at Cream and decided not to ask her, so that left only one other option, "Well, I guess me and Shadow will just go then."  
  
Amy pouted, "I can go with you, Sonic!"  
  
Sonic looked at her nervously, "Um, Amy, why don't you stay in here?"  
  
The pink hedgehog shook her head, already hopping from the van, "Nope. Y'all need me to help pick something for us to eat! If it was just you and Shadow, no saying what y'all might chose." She explained.  
  
Rouge nodded, "She's right, you know."  
  
Sighing, Sonic said, "Fine..."  
  
Amy squealed, "Alright!" The three quickly got out of the van.  
  
Shadow walked in front to look at his headlights and cursed some more, "Those stupid zombies..." He growled before going into the market with Sonic and Amy.  
  
Rouge sighed as she placed her hands under her chin and leaned on the seat in front of her, looking at Tails and Cream, "So, what do we do now while we wait?"  
  
Tails shrugged, "I don't know about you, but I'm playing my gameboy advance." With that said; he pulled out a GBA from cyberspace and started playing a random game. Cream also pulled out a GBA from...cyberspace, I guess, and started to also play a random game.  
  
Rouge sighed and leaned back against her own seat, "Well, this is fun." She stated sarcastically. She turned to Knuckles, "You're awfully quiet, red boy, what's on your mind?"  
  
Knuckles snapped himself from his thoughts, "What?"  
  
Rouge rolled her eyes, "I said; you're awfully quiet, what's on your mind?" She repeated.  
  
"Oh." Knuckles looked out the window, the one that wasn't broken, which was on Rouge's side, "I was just thinking about the Master Emerald. I hope Tikal and Chaos aren't having trouble with it."  
  
Rouge raised an eyebrow, "Is the Master Emerald all you think of? Wow, you don't have much of a life, knucklehead." She smirked at him.  
  
The red echidna sighed, "I know, but—" He stopped as his eyes widen, "Holy echidna! Rouge, look out!" He quickly grabbed Rouge to him as the window suddenly broke and an arm reached in.  
  
Rouge, startled, let out a shout as Knuckles held her. She turned around to see a zombie reaching in. "What the?!" It quickly grabbed a hold of her leg and started to pull her. "Hey! Let go!" She kicked the zombie in the face and it let go of her leg. The zombie screamed and grabbed its face as blood, whatever color it is, ran down its face. Yeah, heels will do that to a person if they were kicked in the face. The zombie retreated and Rouge growled. They are such punks! She sighed then she soon realized that she was particularly sitting on Knuckles lap! She yelped and quickly jumped off and into her seat.  
  
Knuckles blushed, "Uh..."  
  
Tails and Cream giggled from their seats and continued to play their games.  
  
Rouge also blush, "I guess I should thank you for saving me from that zombie." She said to him.  
  
Knuckles, still blushing, managed a smile, "It's, uh, okay."  
  
Rouge smiled and quickly gave him a peck on the cheek. Knuckles was now flaming. Tails and Cream gagged with a giggle but continued to play the games. Oh, what games are they so interested in? Well, the wabbit is playing Banjo Kazooie: Grunty's Revenge and fox-boy is playing Sonic Advance 3 (he went into the future! ^_^).  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
Ah, now we shall explore the market place! Sonic, Shadow, and Amy strolled around the store, keeping a watchful eye out for any zombies. Gosh, for a city supposedly filled with zombies, you hardly see any around! Amy suddenly squealed, startling Shadow and Sonic. "Amy! You okay?!" Sonic hastily rushed to her side.  
  
"Ah! My favorite! 3-D Doritos!" She quickly grabbed a few bags and threw them in a small cart. Sonic and Shadow rolled them eyes.  
  
Sonic eyes soon fell upon something he's heart so desired. He started to drool as he walked to it like some sort of zombie, not an official zombie, mind you. Just someone whose brain been washed. He stared hungrily at it, slowly reaching a hand to it, "Wow..." He whispered as he picked up a pack of Instant Chilidogs...don't ask.  
  
Shadow raised an eyebrow, "Won't you need a conventional oven or something to cook that?" He asked as Sonic started piling the Instant Chilidogs into a basket he had for himself.  
  
Sonic shrugged, "I can eat 'em raw!" He continued to pour more and more into the basket.  
  
Amy made a disgusted face at that comment, "Ew! That's gross, Sonic!" She had two bags of 3-D Doritos, some rice-crispy treats (Hmmm! They are good!), chocolate chip cookies, cheese crackers, etc. Obviously, they were in the junk food aisles.  
  
Shadow looked at them, "You do realize that you have to share with the others, right?"  
  
Amy pouted, after placing more junk food into the basket, "Do we have to?"  
  
The dark hedgehog rolled his eyes, "And too much junk food is bad for you." He then glared at Sonic, "Sonic! Will you stop it with the Instant Chilidogs?!"  
  
A large pile of the package chilidogs towered in the small basket, looking like the Leaning Tower of Pisa. Sonic turned to Shadow as if noticing him for the first time, "Huh?"  
  
Shadow then raised an eyebrow, "Hmm...It's kinda weird that the frozen food and junk food are in the same aisle."  
  
Amy glanced at Shadow's empty basket, "Aren't you going to stock up, Shadow?"  
  
She growled, "I will, and unlike you two, I'll get something healthy." He walked away from the two and headed to the fruits. He carefully picked out some apples, checking for bruises or discoloration. After the apples, he moved to the oranges doing the same and so on with the grapes, peals, bananas, and such. He then decided to go get some drinks such as maybe some Pepsi, Coca-Cola, Orange Slice (AN: ah, the origin of my character Slice name!), Grape Juice, Orange Juice (the kind without the pulp, yuck!), and other goodie drinks. After Shadow had done his productive shopping, he waiting for Sonic and Amy. He didn't had to wait long as Sonic came trotting along with three baskets of...Instant Chilidogs, and Amy with her miles and miles of junk food.  
  
Sonic grinned as he reached the crash registered, "I'll be paying by credit!" He chuckled as he headed out.  
  
"Your total is...your life!" A voice suddenly said from behind the crash register.  
  
Sonic, Amy, and Shadow eyes slightly widen as they slowly turned around to see a zombie! Well, you were you expecting? Bill Cosby? The trio slowly backed away before quickly running out of the store, not dropping any food items. The zombie hopped from behind the register and rushed after them, groaning.  
  
Soon, the three were at the van and jumped in, slightly startling the other occupants. The three threw the stuff in the back seat where Cream and Tails were sitting and soon Amy joined the two. Shadow quickly started the car and pulled out of the lot as soon as Sonic closed his door.  
  
"What's the rush?" Rouge asked, quickly replacing her seatbelt.  
  
Amy shuddered, "A zombie was there! But we got what we needed!" She grinned at the piles of goodies that surrounded them.  
  
Knuckles raised an eyebrow, "Instant Chilidogs? What the heck?" He examined the box before tossing it to the side, he picked up another pack, "Instant Chilidogs again? How much of this crap did you get, Sonic?" He tossed that pack to the side too.  
  
Sonic grinned as he relaxed, "Um, lets see...I'd say about..." He started counting on his fingers, glancing at the boxes, "70 boxes." He grinned again, grabbing a box and opening it, "And the best part is that twelve comes in a pack!" He quickly stuffed a raw chilidog in his mouth and everyone stared at him, wide eye. He chewed then looked at them, "Wha'?" He asked, his mouth puffing with the food.  
  
Shadow glared disgusted, but said nothing as he reached in the back seat, keeping one hand on the steering wheel, "Amy, hand me an apple." He asked, she handed him an apple and he ate it, gratefully.  
  
Tails putted down his GBA and dug through the stuff, "Oh! You got rice- crispy treats! Awesome!" He took a box and ripped it open, unwrapping a treat, he plopped it in his mouth.  
  
Knuckles sighed, "What else do you have?"  
  
Rouge, hanging over the side of the seat to reach the stuff on the other side (of course she slightly undid her seatbelt), found some grapes, "Oh, look, grapes!" She held up some grapes and smirked, knowing that grapes are Knuckles favorite fruit.  
  
Knuckles eyes widen as he stared at the beautiful, delicious, plump, full, purple (the sweet kind!), grapes. His mouth begins to water slightly as he reached for them, only to have Rouge pulled them away. She shook her head, waving a finger at him, "Ah-ah-ah." She taunted, taking a grape and plopping it into her mouth in a, uh, sexy manner. Please, Rouge, there are children present! But of course, the so call children that were present were into their own thing.  
  
Knuckles gulped as he watched Rouge slowly, teasingly, ate the one grape. She smirked at him, "What some?" Knuckles only nodded, mouth still a gap. She held the grapes out to him and as soon as he reached for them, she quickly pulled away, "Gotta be faster then that, treasure hunter." She took another grape in her mouth.  
  
Knuckles, by now, was growing frustrated as he quickly grabbed a hold of the grapes. Now, the two were wrestling for the grapes in the back seat, tossing and turning each other over.  
  
Sonic, noticing the racket in the back, slightly turned around then stared wide eye, "Whoa, Shadow, are they doing what I think they are doing in your back seat?"  
  
Shadow growled and turned around to find Knuckles on top of Rouge in his back seat. His jaw dropped. Wow, I've never seen Shadie so shock! "What are you two doing?!" He asked, the van swiveling a bit.  
  
Knuckles and Rouge froze, with the grapes between them; they stared at each other, than to Sonic and Shadow, than to each other again, and at their position. They blushed the deepest shade of red ever known to man and Knuckles quickly got up from his position on Rouge, he nervously turned to the two male hedgehogs, "It's, uh, not what you think!"  
  
Rouge frantically nodded, silently backing Knuckles up. She nervously grinned, avoiding all eye contact.  
  
Sonic smirked, "Sure it isn't. I suppose you two were just 'wrestling' back there for the grapes, huh?"  
  
Both Rouge and Knuckles nodded, "That's exactly true!" Rouge said, crossing her arms.  
  
Sonic laughed, "Yeah, am I'm Eggman in disguise." He turned back around in his seat and so did Shadow, until he realized something, he turned back around and glared, "What happen to my window?!" He yelled at the two in the back.  
  
Rouge glanced at the window, "Oh, a zombie broke in. That's all."  
  
Shadow sighed, if they don't get out of here soon, no telling what will happen to his precious car, his baby...his Maria....yes, he has lost all sanity and named his van after his long since dead Professor's granddaughter. He has lost the human Maria, but he vow to never, ever, let anything happen to his vehicle Maria. As soon as that thought crossed his mind, a loud bang was heard, sending the van spinning around.  
  
Amy and Cream let out a startle scream as it came to a stop, "What was that?!" Amy asked a little scared.  
  
Shadow growled, welling himself not to cry. Bad hedgehogs don't cry...He sighed as he stepped out of the van, fearing the worst. He checked his van over and what he suspected was true...a flat tire. "UGH!!" Shadow shouted, ready to pull out his spikes, "Why must this happen to me?!" He fell to his knees, on the verge of breaking down. After a minute, while everyone watched him curiously, he calmed down. He then took notice in something poking from the flat tire. Curiosity got the best of him and he went to investigate, pulling out a...arm? "What the?" He asked in confusion. Suddenly the arm begins to move and Shadow quickly threw it away. It landed a few feet from him. Shadow, expecting something to happen, looked at it. Something did as the arm stood on its finger tips and soon went rushing towards Shadow. The hedgehog quickly glanced around for something to stop the arm and his eyes fell open a manhole cover. Forming a plan, he hurriedly lifted the cover and as soon as the arm was close to him, he grabbed it and threw it down the hole, sealing it soon after. Shadow growled as he got back into his van.  
  
Everyone was quiet, not daring to say a word. After ten minutes of silence, Sonic couldn't take it anymore and yawned while stretching, "So, what now?"  
  
Shadow glared at Sonic, "What do you think, Sonic?! The sun is beginning to set, we are in a city with zombies, and to top it all off with, my precious van is ruin! This is the worst week of my life!" Shadow started banging his head on his steering wheel.  
  
Everyone watched in shock as Shadow slowly lost control, Tails yawned, "Maybe we should get some sleep...Today has been a...weird...day, needless to say." He got comfortable in his seat, his hands serving as a pillow for his head.  
  
Knuckles yawned, "Yeah, Sonic, maybe you should stand guard tonight?" He asked as he kicked his feet up on the seat, turning sideways, barely touching Rouge.  
  
Rouge narrowed her eyes as she pushed his feet away, almost making him fall to the floor. He sighed as he turned his back to Rouge, she doing the same; the two soon fell into a not so peaceful slumber.  
  
Sonic growled as he was stuck with guard duty, "Fine, night everyone." He crossed his arms and slouched down in his sea as everyone fell into a deep sleep. The only sound that was heard was the night creatures, whatever they were, and the constant snoring and murmurings of the other members. Sonic yawned again, welling himself to stay awake until it was time to wake up the next shift. 'Ha, those zombies must sleep at night too; I haven't seen one at all doing the night.' He thought to himself.  
  
~*~*~*~*~  
  
Yay, chapter 3. Weird, I know, but I am weird. I hope you are enjoying this as much as I am! Your reviews are greatly appreciated! Thanks! 


	4. In the Heat of the Night

Declaimer: Last I checked, I still didn't own them. I own NOTHING!!  
  
Author Note: Okay, I had enough with all the random craziness...*shudders* We need some serious stuff here, but hey! This is STILL a humor fic! Enjoy!  
  
Oh, I'm also glad that everyone likes my story. For a minute there, I thought it was a mistake, but I was wrong! NOW enjoy!  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
Sonic Evil  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
In the Heat of the Night  
  
~*~*~*~  
  
Sonic yawned for the thousandth time that night as he watched his fellow companions sleep. He was growing very tired. He glanced at his watch and groaned, a half hour left before he could get some sleep. Each of the guys, minus Tails, had two hours of lookout duty. He sighed as he grabbed a box of the Instant Chilidogs and stuffed one in his mouth, hoping not to wake the others. 'Maybe I should've gotten a microwave...' He thought as he chewed it, 'But it's still good!' Suddenly, as he was eating his 'midnight snack', a long snore sounded throughout the van, giving Sonic a near heart attack. He sighed in relief when it was only Shadow. He closely looked to Shadow as he started to murmur in his sleep.  
  
"No...Maria..." He shifted in his seat, his back to Sonic.  
  
Sonic raised an eyebrow, "Wonder what he's dreaming about..." Just as he said that, a bright green light appeared. Sonic stared at it, "What the?" Floating in front of him was a crystal ball. He sweat-drop. "What is this? A Haunted Mansion Parody now?" The crystal ball only floated in the air above Shadow. There was no woman's face as in the movie starring Eddie Murphy. The orb then shifted, forming a picture. In it now was an all too familiar hedgehog, but way younger (about five! He's so cute!). "Shadow?" Shadow, the real one, shifted again in his sleep. "This must be his dream! Neat!" After realizing his outburst, he quickly covered his mouth, hoping that others wouldn't wake. They didn't as he sighed in relief once more.  
  
Dream Shadow looked around his surroundings. From what Sonic could tell, he was back aboard the ARK. He (Dream Shadow) looked around as if searching for something, "Maria?" He asked, looking under a cardboard box. She obviously wasn't under there. Underwear? Hehehe...Uh, Dream Shadow sighed, "Maria? Where are you? I don't wanna play hide-and-go-seek anymore!" The younger Shadow continued on his search when suddenly he heard a rustling. His ears perked up as he grinned and rushed over to the spot. Expecting Maria being behind a bunch of boxes, he leapt through. But he was wrong, it wasn't Maria...Dream Shadow stared on, wide eye. "Who are you?!"  
  
Sonic gasped as he watched this. Standing in front of the Dream Shadow was...an Elvis Presley zombie. Dream Shadow screamed and ran away from the Elvis Presley zombie (try saying THAT three times fast!) The zombie pulled out a guitar and ran his ugly gray hands through the strings. "Thank you, thank you very much." He took a bow.  
  
The picture finally faded and Sonic shuddered, "Poor Shadow...this trip must be getting to him..." The floating orb then hovered above Amy, Sonic was almost afraid to witness her dream. The orb shifted once again forming a new picture. In it this time was Amy, relaxing on a beach chair wearing a cute pink two piece bikini. It looked innocent enough. Sonic sighed in relief. The Dream Amy then snapped her fingers, after a few seconds something, or well, someone walked into view. Sonic jaw dropped.  
  
In Amy's dream was none other then Sonic. That shouldn't be a surprise, but what this Sonic was wearing was. There, in the dream, Sonic was wearing a large spiked dog collar. But not only that, his arms were also chained and so were his legs. He practically crawled to the Dream Amy's side.  
  
The Dream Sonic bowed, "Yes, Mistress Amy?"  
  
Dream Amy giggled, "Oh, Sonic! I love you so much! Now, put lotion on my back!" She handed him the lotion and turned over so her back was exposed.  
  
Dream Sonic took the lotion and gently started to rub her back, "Yes Mistress, my only purpose in life is to serve you, forever and ever I shall." He stated like a robot, rubbing Dream Amy's back.  
  
Dream Amy sighed dreamily as the dream continued. "Oh, Sonic..." She said and quickly turned over, not letting Dream Sonic finish with the rub, "I want you now!"  
  
Dream Sonic didn't say anything, then, "I am yours Mistress." They both kissed passionately.  
  
Outside the dream orb, Sonic stared wide eyed then glanced at the sleeping Amy, who was now smiling wildly. "Turn that off, now!" He hissed at the orb. It quickly went blank. Sonic sighed, "Let's hope that I never have to see that one again."  
  
Next the 'dream orb', as Sonic started calling it, hovered over to Cream. Sonic smiled, her dream can't be that bad. Cream's the sweetest girl he knows, but then again, Amy was 'supposedly' sweet too...  
  
The orb lit up showing a picture of Cream in a field. She was happily picking flowers, humming a tune. Two minutes later she was still hopping around the fields picking flowers.  
  
Sonic stared, "That's...it?" He continued to watch and nothing, absolutely nothing, changed. Dream Cream (~~lol) bent down to pick up a pretty orange flower. She giggled.  
  
"I shall name you Tails!" She put the flower in the large assortment of flowers she was carrying.  
  
Sonic sweat-dropped as the orb went blank, also sweat-dropping. "That was...interesting..." Sonic said as the small orb went to Tails. Sonic was starting to realize that his friends have the weirdest dreams... (Obviously he never saw any of MY dreams! Freakish...uh, carry on.) The orb quickly turned on showing a dark picture. He could hear thunder in the background as Tails appeared sitting on an overly large recliner by a fire place. Sonic raised an eyebrow, "What is he dreaming...?"  
  
Dream Tails started to speak in a low voice, "Once upon a midnight dreary...while I pondered, weak and weary...over many a quaint and curious volume of forgotten lore..." A knock was heard on the door, "While I nodded, nearly napping, suddenly there came a tapping...as of someone gently rapping...rapping at my chamber door...'Tis some visitor,' I muttered, 'tapping at my chamber door...only this, and nothing more..."  
  
Sonics raised an eyebrow, "Why on earth would Tails be dreaming about...Edgar Allan Poe's 'The Raven'?" He continued to watch as Tails went on.  
  
"Ah, distinctly I remember, it was in the bleak December, and each separate dying ember wrought its ghost upon the floor. Eagerly I wished the morrow; vainly I had sought to borrow. From my books surcease of sorrow, sorrow for the lost Lenore. For the rare and radiant maiden whim the angels name Lenore, nameless here forevermore." The Dream Tails sighed, "Edgar Allen Poe is my favorite! I like him better then Sonic the Hedgehog!" He grinned.  
  
Sonic jaw dropped, "He likes a dead dude better then ME?! His best bud?! I'm gonna have to talk to him when he wakes up..." The orb then went blanked and moved over to Knuckles. Sonic grinned, "I can't wait for this one! Oh yeah, I'm gonna blackmail him for sure...hehe..."  
  
For the fifth time that night...or is it morning? Whichever, the orb turned on to show Sonic what the red echidna dream of...In the orb, Knuckles could be seen...guarding the Master Emerald.  
  
Dream Knuckles sighed happily as he rubbed the Master Emerald, "My emerald...I love you do much...please, don't ever leave me again...you mean so much to me...I would forever be lost without your glow." Dream Knuckles kissed the emerald when suddenly Tikal appeared.  
  
"Hi Knuckles!!" She said happily.  
  
Dream Knuckles fell on his butt, "AH!! A...a...GHOST!!!"  
  
Tikal smiled, "I am a ghost! Yes! Did you figure that one out all by yourself?"  
  
"Yep!" Dream Knuckles grinned then frowned, "But...but....what...what are you...doing here?"  
  
"I came to warned you..." She said, looking away and she seemed to be looking directly at Sonic. Sonic sweat-dropped.  
  
"Warn me of what dead woman?" Dream Knuckles asked, taking a seat next to his emerald.  
  
Tikal turned back to him, "That...Sonic is spying on your dreams..."  
  
Dream Knuckles sweat-dropped, "What?! Well, I'm glad I'm not having one of THOSE dreams...Hehehe..." Dream Knuckles chuckles, "I only have those dreams on Tuesdays."  
  
Sonic grinned as the orb went out, "Hey orb, next time ya visit, make sure it's on a Tuesday." The orb sweat-dropped before moving on to Rouge. Sonic grinned grew, "This one has got to be good!" The orb turned on and instantly groaning and moaning could be heard in a very dark room. Sonic eyes widen as well as his grin. "Now this is what I'm taking about! Hey, where's the light in that thing?" As soon as he said that, the light in her dream flickered on. Sonic waited patiently as the picture found Rouge...groaning as she did pushups. Sonic fell over anime style.  
  
Dream Rouge panted, "One thousand, one hundred and ninety two...One thousand...*groan*....one hundred...*pants* and ninety three...Hey, even in my dreams I need to work out!" She grinned as she continued her count.  
  
"Pushups?! She was doing PUSHUPS?!" Sonic yelled, greatly disappointed, "Is it THAT obvious?!" Yes it is...you better be quiet before you wake the others. Sonic eyes widen as he quickly covered his mouth, "Oops..." No one woke. They must be having some nice dreams.  
  
Sonic fell down anime style again.  
  
~*~*~*~*~  
  
Well, chapter 4. Yay. I don't think this one was funny enough. :-( 


	5. Day Three! Wee!

**Declaimer**: I don't own them.  
  
**Author Note**: Sorry it took me so long to post this chapter up. It's not that I stopped writing; it's just that I'm running out of ideas.

_Sonic Evil_ -- SWT

  
  
**Chapter 5ive -- Day Three! Wee!**

They've been traveling for lord knows how long now. They needed to move, needed to keep going. Shadow was a little more then reluctant to leave his van behind, but after a long, painful, debate they finally got Shadow to move, of course he didn't go without saying good-bye to his 'baby' and that he'll be back for 'her' as soon as he can.  
  
"Water...water! I need...water!" Tails cried as he dragged his feet in the deserted town, the sun beating relentlessly down on them.  
  
Sonic huffed as he stuffed one of those Instant Chilidogs in his mouth, "Dun' ya worri, Tailz! We're be outta here zoon!" He said with his mouth full (either that or I'm just a bad speller!).  
  
Rouge sighed from her position on Knuckles back. "You know, this isn't so bad."  
  
Knuckles growled, "Easy for you to say...you aren't carrying around 50 pounds of bat!"  
  
Rouge kicked Knuckles in the side, "I do not weight 40 pounds! Now be quiet and mush!"  
  
Knuckles was on the verge of tears...'Why me? WHY?!' Ah, that famous 'why me' line. We just love to torture our friends.  
  
"ARE YOU CALLING ME FAT?!" Rouge bellowed at the lovely author known as myself. Rouge rolled her eyes.  
  
The red echidna that was carrying the feminine white bat started to sweat as he begins to slow down. "Rouge...can't...you...WALK?!"  
  
"Be quiet, my slave!" Rouge crackled evilly.  
  
Sonic stared at the two, "Rouge...are you...okay?"  
  
Rouge eyes glared red as she looked upon the blue hedgehog, "OF COURSE I'M OKAY! Mind your own business, porky!"  
  
Sonic eyes tear up, "Porky? I'm getting fat!" He grabbed his fattening stomach, but not before stuffing an Instant Chilidog in his mouth.  
  
Amy giggled, "That's a good thing, Sonikku!"  
  
"How is that a good thing, pray tell?"  
  
"Because, it gives me a nice pillow to sleep on!" The pink hedgehog exclaimed dreamily.  
  
Sonic and the gang sweat dropped.  
  
Knuckles growled, Rouge was starting to get heavy and he was more then bored, "When are we going to kick some zombie ass?!"  
  
Rouge grinned and poked him in the cheek, "Someone's impatient!"  
  
The red echidna sighed and dropped Rouge, causing her to fall to the ground with a 'thud', "You have two legs! Walk yourself!"  
  
Rouge blinked as she sat there on the ground then pouted, "You're so mean, echidna."  
  
Knuckles rolled his eyes, "Only to large ear bats."  
  
Sonic snickered, "Large ears?"  
  
The red echidna turned to Sonic and growled at him, "Quiet you."  
  
Rouge got up from her sitting position and looked around, "So, where are we, anyway?"  
  
"Isn't it obvious? We're still in Raccoon City." Shadow said as he too looked around.  
  
Rouge glared at the black hedgehog, "Well, I KNOW that, I mean, where in Raccoon City are we?"  
  
Just then Cream squeal in delight, "Oh lookie! A carnival!" She turned large puppy-dog eyes on the older furries. "Can we go, please?!"  
  
Amy too jumped in, "Yeah, can we? Pretty, pretty, please, Sonikku?!" She attached herself to Sonic's arm.  
  
Sonic gave her an incredulous look, "You want to go to a carnival that is in a city filled with zombies...?" He spoke slowly and carefully.  
  
Amy nodded her head frantically, "Yeah! Please, Sonic?!"  
  
Sonic sighed, "Fine."  
  
The girls (sans Rouge) squealed in excitement, "Yay! We get to go to the carnival!"  
  
Rouge raised an eyebrow and whispered to Knuckles, "Don't they realize that we are in a zombie infested city?"  
  
Knuckles watched the two girls rush to the carnival and shook his head, "Obviously not."  
  
The rest walked to the carnival at a much slower pace. Tails grinned, "Well, look on the bright side! At least we don't have to pay!"  
  
Sonic nodded, "You're right, kiddo! Let's have some fun!" He raced in the carnival and started up a few rides until Amy ran over to him.  
  
"Sonic! Come with me, please? I wanna go on the Ferris Wheel!" Amy dragged Sonic to the Ferris Wheel.  
  
"Amy! I don't want to!" Sonic shouted in protest as she pulled him over.  
  
Tails grinned, "I'll start it up for you two." He said going over to the controls.  
  
Sonic glared at him, "Some friend you are."  
  
Tails nodded starting up the Ferries Wheel, "I feel the same way about you, Sonic."  
  
Amy dragged Sonic into the first cart of the Ferris Wheel, "This is gonna be so much fun!"  
  
Sonic tried with all his might to get out, but Amy was stronger than she looks, "Mommy!" He sobbed as the Wheel started to slowly spin.  
  
Tails looked at the controls, "I wonder how first I should make it go..."  
  
"How about Super-Ultra Sonic fast?" A voice said from behind him.  
  
"Yeah, that's not a bad...idea..." He slowly turned around to see a zombie staring at him. "AH!"  
  
The zombie stepped towards him causing him to push the level on Super-Ultra Sonic, "Uh, boo!"  
  
Tails screamed and ran away from the zombie as fast as his two tails would allow.  
  
Up on the Ferris Wheel, Amy was clinging Sonic so tight, his eyeballs were about ready to pop out. The Wheel was spinning even faster than Sonic could run, "AH! Make it stop! Make it stop!" She cried out, holding Sonic tighter.  
  
"Ack! Amy, let me go! I can't...BREATHE!" Sonic gasped out.  
  
"TAILS! STOP IT! STOP IT!!!" Amy cried as the wheel speeded up. Amy started to turn a sickening green color.  
  
Sonic stared at her, "Oh no...Amy, don't!" Too late, all what was inside that small girl was now on Sonic...gross...  
  
  
  
Rouge and Knuckles were heading towards the bumper-cars. Why not? Bumper- cars are pretty fun, especially if you get to cream some echidnas! They reached the entrance to the bumper-cars arena and choose their desire car. Rouge bumper-car was a pinkish-purple while Knuckles was red.  
  
Rouge grinned at the echidna, "Prepare to lose that Emerald, echidna!"  
  
Knuckles raised an eyebrow, "I am not fighting you for the Master Emerald, bat-girl."  
  
Rouge frowned, "Fine, loser gets to prank call Eggman and tell him that he's the coolest villain ever to try and take over the world, got it?"  
  
Knuckles thought for a moment than nodded, "You're on, bat-girl!"  
  
And thus, World War III had begun. Knuckles glared at the bat as he started his engines. He gritted his teeth, ready for war.  
  
Rouge winked at him, using her charm to win this war. Her engine roared to life, "Lets go!" The two charge at each other and smack each other with such force, both carts went flying out of the ring.  
  
"AHHH!" Rouge yelled as her cart went soaring through the air and into the popcorn bend.  
  
Knuckles had better luck as his cart went the opposite way and landed on the highest Rollercoaster...wait, did I say he had better luck? I lied; coming at him was one of the fastest Rollercoaster in all Creepy Park (which is the Park name, by the way). Knuckles hurriedly undid his seatbelt and jumped from the cart gliding down just as the Rollercoaster smashed into the bumper-car. Knuckles sighed in relief...  
  
WHAM!!  
  
If only he had been looking where he had been going...He slide down wall to the mirror house in pain. "Ow..."  
  
  
  
"Do you think we'll be able to get out of here, Mr. Shadow?" Cream asked as she and Shadow wandered around the park.  
  
Shadow shrugged, not really in the talkative mood.  
  
"Do you know where Sonic and the others are, Mr. Shadow?" Cream continued to ask.  
  
Shadow shrugged.  
  
"Do you think the zombies will get us, Mr. Shadow?"  
  
Shadow shrugged again.  
  
"Do you know what time it is, Mr. Shadow?"  
  
Shrugging again.  
  
"Do you—"  
  
"WILL YOU SHUT UP ALREADY?!" Shadow shouted, finally losing his patients with the rabbit.  
  
"...." Cream said nothing as she and Shadow walked in silence.  
  
Shadow sighed in relief, glad that the rabbit finally shut up. Peace at long last...but it didn't last too long...  
  
"Mr. Shadow! Look, there's one of those zombies!" Cream pointed to a zombie that was...dressed in a skier's outfit...with skis.  
  
Shadow growled, "Great! Just what I needed, a stupid skiing zombie!"  
  
The zombie grinned as it begins to ski towards them on the hard cemented ground. After about two strokes of the ski sticks, the zombie fell flat on his face.  
  
Shadow raised an eyebrow, "Let's go...now." He grabbed Cream and skated away as fast as he could.  
  
  
  
Okay, there's chapter 5ive! Yayzers. Please review, and I know, not that funny. Oh well! Review anyway!


	6. KungFu Fighting!

**Declaimer**: I don't own them.  
  
**Author Note**: I have this feeling that not much people are interested in Sonic anymore...anyhow, enjoy.  
  
_Sonic Evil_ -- SWT  
  
  
  
Kung-Fu Fighting!  
  
  
  
Finally, they finally got that cursed, possessed, EVIL wheel to stop...it only took the sacrifice of one of Sonic's beloved Instant Chilidog. Sonic was sad to see it go as Amy threw it out the wheel to hit precisely on it's intended target, pushing the speed level down to off. Once it stopped, the two were suspended in the air, looking over the carnival grounds.  
  
Down below they could easily see ant-like creatures running around being chased by dead ant-like creatures. Amy turned to Sonic as he finally got the icky green stuff off of him by a towel he gotten from a plot-hole. How convenient they are! "Sonic? How are we going to get down?" She asks him.  
  
Sonic growled, still upset that she spat up on his brand NEW shoes! The nerve of that hedgehog! Those were his favorite, most expensive, shoes that he had and **_she_**, that...that...hedgehog demon from...from HFIL (If you watch Dragonball Z, you should know what that means! "Hell for Infinite Losers"(or something along those lines)). But Sonic, being the hedgehog that doesn't hold any grudges whatsoever, turned to her. "You mean, how are YOU gonna get down! I'm outta here!" He was ready to jump when the author reminded him that he doesn't hold ANY grudges. Sonic sighed and turned back to the pink hedgehog. "Fine, jump on..." _'Stupid author.'_ The author is going to pretend that he didn't say that as Amy jumped on his back, clinging herself tightly to him.  
  
Amy tightly closed her eyes as Sonic, being the super-hedgehog that he is, easily carried the smaller hedgehog on his back as he hopped from the steel poles of the giant wheel. Reaching one of the longer and narrow ones, he grinned as he started to grind down like he was on some sort of surfboard. He quickly jumped from one pole to another, grinding down that one as well. Soon he reached the button and grinned in triumphant. "Piece of cake!"  
  
Amy hopped from his back and looked around, "Where are the others?"  
  
Sonic shrugged, "How am I suppose to know?"  
  
Amy sighed, "Oh you..." She paused as she spotted two familiar figures making their way towards them, "Shadow! Cream!"  
  
Shadow skirted to a halt in front of the two hedgehogs, panting slightly as he released Cream's hand. "This...has got to be...the weirdest...frickin' day of my...LIFE!" He glared daggers at Sonic who slightly winced as one of the daggers hit him. (No, not literally, silly!)  
  
Amy giggled, "Oh Shadow, you're being silly. This isn't the weirdest! Anyway, where's the others?"  
  
Shadow finally recomposed himself and shrugged, "I don't really care. I just want to get the hell out of here as soon as humanly—or well, hedgehogly—possible."  
  
Amy frowned, "But we can't leave the others, and plus, you're car is total."  
  
Shadow gave Amy an incredulous look, "What do you mean, 'my car is TOTAL'?!"  
  
"She's right, Mr. Shadow. Look." Cream said as she pointed to his van which was three blocks away. Shadow almost had a heart attack. He instantly paled (uh, can a BLACK hedgehog PALE? Uh, movin' on...), his breath thicken, his eyes widen it's size and he started to twitch. Sonic could have sworn that he was having a seizure.  
  
The blue hedgehog cautiously took a step closer to his friend, "Uh, Shadow?"  
  
Shadow started to turn red as his anger and rage boiled inside of him. The warning signs flared.  
  
WARNING!  
  
WARNING!  
  
ANGER PRESSURE INCREASING!  
  
TAKE COVER!  
  
The three surrounding the soon-to-explode hedgehog took a few steps back as Shadow turned an unhealthy color of red, then purple, then, wow, sliver (or whatever his hyper color is).  
  
Sonic gasped, "He turned Hyper without the Chaos Emeralds!"  
  
Amy coward behind Sonic, "How's that...possible?"  
  
Sonic shrugged as he stared at his raging friend, "I don't know..."  
  
Just then, seemingly out of nowhere, Tails, Rouge, and Knuckles appeared, coming towards the group. They fail to notice the scary looking hedgehog as their attention were set on Sonic, Amy, and Cream.  
  
Tails shook his head, "Zombies are so scary."  
  
Knuckles noticed the frighten look upon his friends' faces, "What's wrong?"  
  
Cream shakily pointed to Shadow. Tails, Knuckles, and Rouge followed her finger to see Shadow and gasped in surprise.  
  
Rouge blinked, "Is he...?"  
  
Sonic nodded.  
  
Knuckles slightly turned to Sonic, "What's got him so pissed?"  
  
This time Sonic pointed to his van and once again the three followed the finger and dramatically gasped.  
  
"GASP!" They dramatically gasped.  
  
Shadow was ignoring them all as he stared in anger and rage (Ah, words of the day; anger and rage...). His eyes were narrowed on the van. His beautiful, wonderful, lovely, baby...his Maria...his MARIA! HOW DARE THEY DO THIS TO HIS BABY?! THEY SHALL PERISH!  
  
The six behind him stared at what was on his precious...insert Golem speech his preciiioooouuusss....one the van was one word...one dreadful word...the one word that filled our black hedgehog with anger and rage...that one word...oh, how they shall pay...for that one word...  
  
That one word...  
  
LOZERZ.  
  
In red paint—not blood—paint.  
  
Knuckles raised an eyebrow, "Well, I guess they get away with spelling errors since they are zombies..."  
  
All the pint up anger and rage inside Shadow finally burst through creating some sort of shockwave, knocking away everything in its path, "**_AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!_**"  
  
Rouge blocked her face by putting an arm over it as she ground her teeth and kept her feet planted in place, "Looks like someone's been watching too much Dragonball Z..."  
  
The others quickly agreed as they watch the dynamite explode. Suddenly, the storm calmed as Shadow took deep breaths.  
  
Just as it seem that everything could be consider okay, that was when the hurricane started up. Thousands of zombies decided that it was time to make an appearance as they jumped out of various objects.  
  
Shadow glared at them all as he stood in front of the others, not protecting them, of course, he just so happen to be in the lead as the others stood behind him. Seven zombies in ninja customs jumped up front of the rest and did a lot of weird fighting techniques such as back-flips, side-flips, cartwheels, swinging around nunchakus, some even had shurikens (throwing stars).  
  
Suddenly, that cute little gecko from those GEIGO car insurance commercials appears with a microphone as music starts to suddenly play. "Oh-oh-oh-oh! Oh-oh-oh-oh! Oh-oh-oh-oh! Oh-oh-oh-oh!"  
  
Everyone stared in confusion at the little green thing before going into fighting stances.  
  
Gecko begins his song: _Everybody was kung-fu fighting!  
Those kicks were fast as lightning  
In fact, it was a little but frightening  
But they fought with expert timing!_  
  
As the cute wittle thingy sung, the fight commence against living flesh and nasty decayed boney thingies with skin hanging off their bones. The zombies charged full force at our heroes, giving them no choice but to spread out and take on at least two dozen at a time.  
  
Shadow smirked evilly as he spun kick a zombie in the head, causing that zombie to ram into another zombie and that one to ram into yet another one. The three zombies crashed landed into a candy store, sanding candy everywhere. Shadow continued to smirk as he stayed in hyper form (or super, whichever) and beat the living—er—the not so living crap out of those zombies booties!  
  
_They were funky China men from funky Chinatown  
They were chopping them up and they were chopping them down  
It's an ancient Chinese art and everybody knew their part  
From a feint into a slip, kicking from the hip!_  
  
Sonic was having fun with his patch of zombies. He had these buzzers, can't nobody beat our slick hedgehog! Or so he thought until one zombies decided to go so low and kick him RIGHT here it hurt. Ooooh, he was down for the count! 1...2...3...wait, what's this?  
  
Amy came to the rescue to save our precious Sonic from doom as she swung her over-size hammer around. Her Piko-Piko Hammer collided head on with the zombie...or shall I say head off? Hehehe...okay, 'nuff with the corny side jokes...  
  
_Everybody was kung-fu fighting!  
Those kicks were fast as lightning  
In fact it was a little but frightening  
But they fought with expert timing!  
_  
Now to see how our favorite echidna is doing. Knuckles landed a swift kick to a zombie's knee, causing it to buckle and he fell, but not before Knuckles gave him the elbow right between the shoulder blades. Somehow, the spinal cord got detach and the next thing he knew, the zombie was headless. Knuckles stared in degust, but it was soon forgotten as more zombies advance on the red being, ready to tear him limb from limb. But no worries kiddies, he had them. He grinned and started a series of punches, kicks, uppercuts, lower-cuts, spin-kicks, sky uppercut, drill dive, dreadlock swing and more...  
  
_There was funky Billy Chin and little Sammy Chung  
He said here comes the big boss, lets get it on  
We took a bow and made a stand, started swinging with the hand  
The sudden motion made me skip now we're into a brand new trip_  
  
Rouge was having the time of her life as she jump on her hands and sent a back kick to one zombie causing it to roll into five others like some bowling pins. Strike! The zombies go flying and land in trees and other random stuff. Rouge dust her hands off and smirked in victory, but it was short live as a zombie did one of the dirtiest, most pervert trick in the book. Giving a LADY a wedge! Rouge eyes turned a freakish red as she haul around and sent said zombie to hell with her fist. "THE NERVE OF THAT ZOMBIE!" She said in a huff and walks off, other zombies were now terrified of her.  
  
_Everybody was kung-fu fighting  
Those kicks were fast as lightning  
In fact it was a little bit frightening  
But they did it with expert timing_  
  
To our two little kiddies, Tails and Cream. Cream was hovering above Tails watching as he fought with fearful eyes. Tails was pretty good, actually, as he sent his twin tails towards the face of a zombie, causing it to fly back into an abandon car (well, duh! Of course the car's abandon!). Tails smiled happily as he got rid of that one zombie. Cream gasped a little bit too dramatically as she saw one of those zombies approaching from behind Tails.  
  
"Tails! Watch out!" She yelled out to him.  
  
Tails, apparently, didn't hear her, so she muster up some courage and swoop down below to give that zombie a good whooping. Before the zombie could lay a lanky figure on the fox, Cream delivered it a nice blow to the head with her foot, sending the head flying clear off it's shoulders.  
  
Tails turned around in surprise to see the headless zombie slamming to the ground and Cream hovering above it with a slight smile.  
  
The gecko, which miraculously haven't been touch during the entire fight, ended his song with, "...Make sure you have expert timing. Kung-fu fighting, had to be fast as lightning..." And as soon as the song ended, so did the battle because I got lazy. Zombies were everywhere, sprawled out all over the street, trees, houses, cars, etc, etc, etc. The gang cheered in victory.  
  
"YAY!" They cheered in victory.  
  
Gecko did a back-flip and landed in a plot-hole, waving to them all. The gang wave back as the singing car insurance mascot disappear.  
  
Knuckles placed his right hand over his left shoulder and rotated it to get the feeling back into it, "That was something."  
  
Sonic grinned, "That was better than fighting Eggman's robots!"  
  
Shadow ignored them all as he feel to his knees, tears welling up in his eyes. His van...his van was...gone...forever...  
  
Amy felt sympathy for her friend and pat his back, "It's okay, Shadow." She said soothingly.  
  
Shadow shrugged her off, "How...how can you say that?" He turned his eyes to her, "She's gone...forever...again..."  
  
Sonic rolled his eyes, "Geez, Shadow, it was **_only_** car."  
  
Shadow stood up quicker then the speed of sound and found himself glaring into Sonic's eyes, "It was **_not_** just **_only_** a car! **_SHE_** was my Maria! MY MARIA! And now...now she's gone! AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!!! I HATE ZOMBIES!!!"  
  
The rest stared at their friend sadly as he slowly, but surely, went crazy.  
  
  
  
What's gonna happen to our heroes? Will Shadow ever get over his car? Will the gang after get out of Raccoon City alive? Will I ever get a life? Find out on the next exciting episode of deep creepy voice SONIC EVIL! Lightning flash, thunder clash, people screamed, Insane laughter  
  
insert lame "Tales from the Crypt" theme  
  
BTW, I don't own the song "Kung-Fu Fighting", Gecko, OR Tales from the Crypt! Bye! 


	7. And so it Ends, or does it?

**Declaimer**: I don't own them.

**Author Note**: I'm glad that everyone likes this stupid fic! Enjoy it!

_Sonic Evil_ -- SWT

And so it Ends…or does it?

Our Zombie fighting friends are now resting under a few trees heaving and huffing after the fight with the dead or undead or whatever you want to call them. By now, it was midday and they were already exhausted, as you can tell by all the huffing and puffing and heaving and whatnot.

Cream frowned as she turned to Amy, "We'll never get home, will we?" Tears started to well up in her large adorable eyes.

Amy sighed, "I really don't know…"

Sonic looked around the group and he too frowned. Sonic, being the optimistic that he is, stood up, "Hey, I got a great idea!" Sonic declared.

Shadow rolled his eyes, "Well, there's a first for everything."

Sonic stuck his tongue out at Shadow, "ANYWAY, maybe we should make a campfire and sing camp songs? It is getting late…and kinda chilly."

Amy nodded, "Oh! That's a great idea!"

And so, they made a campfire.

"Let's make s'mores!" Amy cried out.

And so, they made s'mores. (Uh, the chocolate and stuff was 'conveniently' place there…)

Sonic grinned, "Alright…I don't see any zombies…let's sing a song!"

And so, they started to sing…nah. Sonic pulled out a…something, guitar or whatever (whatever you like) and started to play it, while singing one of his favorite song, the slower version of the song; "This ain't a song for the broken-hearted…no silent prayer for the faith-departed. I ain't gonna be just a face in the crowd…you're gonna hear my voice…when I shout it out loud…"

The others stared at Sonic in mild shock and amusement.

Sonic continued oblivious to their stares, "It's my life, it's now or never…I ain't gonna live forever…I just want to live while I'm alive. My heart is like an open highway, like Shadow said, I did it my way."

Shadow blinked at his name being in that song and he quickly stuffed a marshmallow in his mouth.

Sonic continued to sing and than everyone joined in, even those who didn't know the words started to sing. Everyone loved each other and everyone was happy singing songs around a campfire in the middle of a zombie invested city, but they didn't care, all they cared about was each other because they were happy.

Shadow growled, "That is so sickening!" He shudders.

Sonic turned to his black and red hedgehog friend, "Shadow! Join in with the merriment!"

"Yes Shadow! Join in with the merriment!" Cream, Amy, Tails, Knuckles, and Rouge said in a robotic type voice, all advancing onto our poor, helpless, defenseless, evil-turned-good hedgehog.

Shadow backed up, now slightly terrified, "What is wrong with you guys?! HEY! STOP! LEAVE ME ALONE!" He cried out as they all grabbed a hold of him, bring him down with them as if they were…possessed!

And then, Shadow woke up, gasping for air. "GASP!" He gasped for air.

The others stop what they were doing and turned to Shadow in confusion. "Yo, Shad, are you okay?" Sonic asked, making his way to the other hedgehog.

Shadow quickly backed away, making a cross with his fingers, "Stay back! I'm warning you! Don't come any closer!"

Sonic blinked, "Shadow? Are you…feeling okay?" He stepped closer.

Shadow hopped up and backed into a tree, "I'm not going to say it again! Stay away or I'll…I'll…take away your chili-dogs!"

Everyone gasped at that.

Sonic backed away, "You wouldn't!"

Shadow grinned, "I would!"

Rouge, finally having something to say in this chapter, said what she had to say, "Shadow! What's gotten into you?!"

Shadow curled up into a fetal position, "It was horrible! Absolutely terrifying!" He started to cry, "You all were…were…so SCARY! It was a nightmare! A NIGHTMARE!"

Everyone sweat dropped at the uncharacteristic of our Shadow. Than Knuckles burst into fits of laughter until Rouge gave him **_that_** look. Yes, **_that_** look. The look that could even freeze Satan's heart, if he had a heart. Yes, **_that_** cold and ice piecing look…okay, you all get the picture…Needless to say, Knuckles instantly shut up.

**_Some place, far, far, far, far, far, far, far, far, far away…_**

"Muhahahaha! This is EVIL! Pure EVIL!" An evil, very evil voice said as he started to work on something.

Another not so evil voice stuttered, "B-b-but…wh-what if th-th-they find o-o-out?"

The evil, very evil voice chuckled evilly, "Hahaha! They will not! We are far, far, far, far, far, far, far, far, far away from them!"

The not so evil voice person looked down the street to see the Sonic gang hanging around a campfire. "Uh…is this…far enough?"

"Yes! Now, be quiet or I'll feed you to the zombie dogs!"

"O-o-o-o-okay…" And so, he was quiet.

**_Back with the Sonic gang_**

They finally got Shadow to calm down and now everyone is tired once again sitting around the campfire. All was quiet, the only sound being their breathing.

Suddenly an "I'm bored" was heard. All eyes turned to Tails who blushes. "Well, I am." He said in defense.

Rouge shrugged and brought at a Word Search book for nowhere and started to do one of the puzzles in the book.

And, so suddenly once more, a roaring sound was heard. All heads turned to the roaring sound and stared as the headlights as Shadow's abandon van came to life. The 'eyes' of the van turned to them and narrowed in. It started to 'vroom, vroom' and then, started towards them. Everyone stared in shocked as the van came to life.

Amy frowned, "I thought it wasn't working?"

"There's nobody in there!" Tails said, standing up.

Cream nervously looked at it, "Um, maybe we should…run? It doesn't look like it wants to stop…" As soon as she said that, the van ran right into them, or would have if they weren't so darn 'smart' and jumped out of the way.

"Scatter!" Sonic yelled, running in one direction.

The others did as told, but the van had a set target and went after…Shadow. Shadow turned his head around to see the van right on his tail. He turned on his hover skaters and zoomed down the street, but the van stayed on his trail.

"Maria! Why?! Why are you doing this?! I loved you! How could you break my heart like this?! HOW?!" Shadow yelled back to the van.

And, of course, the van made no reply; instead, it started to shoot at him.

Shadow yelped as a large black smog of something almost hit him, a drop falling onto his nose. Sniffing it, he could instantly tell what it was. "ARE YOU THROWING OIL ON ME?! LEAVE ME ALONE!" And so, he went faster.

**_With Sonic_**

Sonic sped down the street on the East side of the city. He glanced behind him and didn't see any danger so he came to a halt. He stopped and place his hands on his knees, heaving slightly. "Well, that was…interesting."

"Hello Hedgehog." Sonic head snapped up to see a hedgehog zombie staring at him.

Sonic backed up, "What do you want?!"

The zombie grinned, "I challenge you to a…D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-"

Sonic yawned.

"D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-D-DUEL!" He pulled out a pokemon card.

Sonic grinned, "Do you realize that I am the champion of these card games? Bring it on, freak!"

The zombie glared at him, "The game is Yugimon!"

Sonic blinked, "Yugimon?"

"The rules are simple; There are no rules!" He pulls out a Yu-Gi-Oh mat and set up his pokemon cards.

Sonic magically got some pokemon cards and set his cards up to, and so, the game begun!

**_With Knuckles and Rouge_**

Knuckles and Rouge were lost. As simple as that. They have no idea whatsoever where they were. They were surrounded by trees, plants and more trees and plants. It was a forest…or a jungle…or a forjungle.

"I think we're lost." Knuckles said.

Rouge rolled her eyes, "Ya think, genius? What was your first clue?" She said sarcastically.

"Well…we passed that rock in the shape of Lincoln four times already." He pointed to a rock, which oddly enough, looked like Abraham Lincoln, "And that tree that looks like the leaning Tower of Pisa." He pointed to a leaning tree, "And that zombie sitting on that tree over there." He pointed to the zombie.

They pause.

They looked at the zombie.

The zombie waved.

The looked at each other.

All was quiet.

They ran.

The zombie jumped in front of them.

Music started to play…

And than…

"MORTAL KOMBAT!"

The zombie was now dressed in a yellow ninja type getup. Knuckles and Rouge stared in shock than Knuckles grinned, "I love this game!" He than spun around and he was suddenly in an ice blue ninja suit.

Rouge blinked and decided to stay on the sidelines.

The zombie took on a fighting stance, with his right hand in front of him and he moved his fingers in a 'come here' gesture, "Get over here!" He shouted.

Knuckles grinned, "Gladly!" He did a double flip and spun in the air, turning his feet into a drill (like Rouge) and hit the zombie on the side of his face.

The zombie, who shall be known as Zompion (Zombie/Scorpion), flew into a tree. Knuckles waited for him to get up and when he didn't, Knuckles and Rouge blinked. They glanced at each other than at the zombie again than at each other.

Rouge shrugged, "Guess he's down for the count."

Knuckles frowned, "That was way too easy…Oh well, let's go…"

And so, they went.

**_And now; Cream and Tails_**

The two youngest of the group made their way around the city. So far, so good…no zombies, no crazed van, and no…Sonic and the rest. Cream frowned, "I'm scared, Tails…"

Tails looked down on her, "It's okay Cream. You're with me now; I won't let anything happen to you."

Cream smiled at him, "Thanks Tails." She grabbed his hand shyly.

Tails smiled shyly at her, and than suddenly (or not so suddenly for them), soft music begins to play. Tails looked deep into her eyes and started to sing softly, "I thought that dreams belonged to other men…'cause each time I got close, they'd fall apart again."

Cream, not used to all the mushiness, smiled sheepishly, "I feared my heart would beat in secrecy, I faced the nights alone, oh, how could I have known? That all my life, I only needed you?"

In the distance, three zombies sat watching them with tears in their eyes. One turned to the other, and said, "Pass the popcorn."

And so, he did.

Back with Cream and Tails, the small two-tailed fox still held onto Cream's small hand as they both sung, "Whoa, Almost paradise, we're knockin' on heaven's door." Tails mentioned to the sky, "Almost paradise, how could we ask for more? I swear that I can see forever in your eyes…Paradise…" He looked into her eyes.

"It seems like prefect love's so hard to find, I'd almost given up, you must have read my mind." Tails sung; his voice oddly masculine.

Cream blushed, her voice so soft and, well, shy, "And all these dreams I saved for a rainy day…" Tails joined in with her, "They're finally coming true, I'll share them all with you, 'cause now we hold the future in our hands…" The camera zooms in on them, bumping Cream on the head.

In perfect harmony, they sung; "Whoa, Almost Paradise, we're knockin' on heaven's door. Almost Paradise, how could we ask for more? I swear that I can see forever in your eyes…paradise…"

The beat kinda picked up a bit as Tails started to sing with more feeling to it, "And in your arms, salvation's not so far away! It's getting closer, closer every day!" They did a little dance.

"Almost Paradise, we're knockin' on heaven's door, almost paradise, how could we ask for more? I swear that I can see forever in your eyes…paradise." They repeated that verse, "Whoa, almost paradise, we're knocking on heaven's door. Almost paradise, how could we ask for more? I swear I can see forever in your eyes…" The music started to fade out, "Paradise….paradise…paradise…" They stared at each other, and by some unseen force, they were being drawn to each other…their lips inches apart for a sweet, promising kiss…

"WATCH OUT! MOVE!" A voice came from behind them and they both turned to see none other than Shadow running towards them, still being chased by the van. Tails and Cream quickly moved from each other and allowed Shadow, along with his crazed van, to run by.

Shadow quickly, with all the speed he possessed, ran by the two children, the van hot on his trail. Cream turned to Tails, and she frowned, "How do we stop the van, Tails?"

Tails turned to her and said "Wait for it to run outta gas."

Cream nodded.

Shadow was really pushing himself now, "Must…keep…moving…can not…stop…" He panted. Sweat was, by now, pouring down his face like a waterfall (but with more water). His lungs were burning, his legs were arching, he was damn near exhausted and the van wasn't going to let up anytime soon, so it seems.

Shadow looked behind him to see how close the van was on his tail. It wasn't that far behind, just about three feet behind him. He turned back in front of him and gasped as he jumped, unintentionally, off a cliff, "AHHH!! I WANT MARIAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!"

And so, he fell.

The van jumped too.

And so, the van fell.

So, Shadow decided to say a pray, he clasped his hands together and spoke quickly as he fell, "Dear lord, if I don't make it out alive, tell Sonic that I was always the better hedgehog…tell Knuckles that I hate red, and Rouge that…uh, nevermind that….and Cream, sweet little innocent Cream…tell her that she…STILL OWES ME FIVE DOLLARS! Oh, yeah, and Tails…be kind to little Timmy…I mean, Tailsie…that is all…" Than he started screaming, "I DON'T WANNA DIE! PLEASE! I HAVE SO MUCH TO LIVE FOR!! DON'T LET ME DIE! I CAN'T DIE THIS WAY! I JUST CAN'T!!"

He continued to fall, and fall, and fall, and fall, and, well, you get the picture.

And than, he stopped falling and landed, ever-so gracefully with his feet on the ground. He blinked and decided not to question it. He looked up and saw the van falling towards him. He screamed and ducked his head, awaiting impact.

Nothing happened.

He flinched, peeked and was staring at the eyes of his van. They were dulled now and he blinked once more. "Huh?" He inspected the van and than came to one conclusion, "It must've run outta gas."

**_With Amy_**

"Oh! Look at all the pretty flowers! I'll pick some for Sonic!"

And so, she did.

**_Central Park_**

And so, the gang finally met up once more in Central Park. Each and every one of them were once again panting in exhaustion. Sonic laid sprawl out on the ground, his eyes closed.

Shadow rubbed his head, trying to smooth out his now flaring headache.

Tails and Cream were being, well, Tails and Cream. (Oh…peaches and cream, yum)

Amy was sorting through her flowers and lastly, Knuckles and Rouge were arguing.

Sonic peeked open an eye to have a look at everyone upside down. He yawned, "So, how are we gonna get outta here?"

Tails turned to the blue hedgehog, "Well, I think we should find an abandon van…"

Knuckles rolled his eyes, "Newsflash, kid, EVERYTHING here IS abandon!"

Tails ignored him, "And leave the town."

Sonic sat up, "Why haven't we thought of that before?! Let's get going them!"

And so, they found an 'abandon' van, got in, and drove out of the town.

Cream smiled as she sat comfortably in her seat, she glanced out the back window, "Oh, look! The zombies are seeing us off!"

Everyone turned around to see all the zombies waving at them.

Tails grinned, "Lets wave back!"

And so, they did.

THE END

The van coming to life thing was my good friend, Ohm the Mighty, idea. Credit's due to him.

Ah! And there you have it folks, my ever-so pointless Zombie fic to my new… "**_Sonic Supernatural Collection_**" Yes, ya heard me…this is only the FIRST installation…meaning it's not over…oh no, we have vampires, werewolves, ghosts, ghouls, and more, oh my!

Stay tuned for my Vampire one…coming to a near you!

Oh, yeah, review please!


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